Living by your Inner Scorecard
You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks. ― Winston Churchill
One of Aesop’s fables, “The miller, his son and the donkey”, puts quite simply how life, no matter how lived, will always receive criticism from people around.
In this fable a man and his son are accompanied by their donkey and meet constant criticism from passers-by of the way it is used or treated by them.
When both walk beside the donkey they are criticized for not riding it.
When the father rides, he is blamed for making his young son walk; when the son rides, he is blamed for leaving his elderly father on foot.
When both ride, they are berated for overburdening their beast.
An inner scorecard is by definition, a set of ideals created for you by you in which you think, act and judge your success based on. When you live by your inner scorecard, you prioritize self-reflection and self-improvement. You define your own measures of success and happiness, rather than relying on external markers like wealth, status, or other people's opinions.
“Would you rather be the world’s greatest lover, but have everyone think you’re the world’s worst lover? Or would you rather be the world’s worst lover but have everyone think you’re the world’s greatest lover?” ― Warren Buffet
Living by your inner scorecard requires self-awareness, courage, and willingness to make choices that align with your values, even if they may be unconventional or unpopular. It means being true to yourself and not compromising your integrity for external validation.
For instance, you might decline a promotion at work that goes against your values of work-life balance and choose to spend more time pursuing your passion for playing chess. It may raise a few eyebrows, but your inner scorecard is beaming with pride. In other cases, you may take on more responsibilities at work that cause you to spend less time with family because you want to prioritize earning more money or inspire others in areas of career growth.
Whatever it may be, as long as it brings joy and fulfillment to your life, it's a win in your book!
Creating an inner scorecard
Your inner scorecard should be different from your short to long-term goals, and be measures of qualitative traits of your life. You will like to have areas you want to grow or sustain that stem from your values or lead you closer to things you hold important.
Making your inner scorecard is simply [1] determining what is important to you. After you have done this, you can [2] find a way to measure them and [3] appraise on your status regularly.
I know people who set goals and keep track of the number of hours they work, gym sessions, books read, net worth and amount of money given away. These are good places to start if work-life balance, quality of life or contribution to society are sources of happiness for you. But indeed, we are all different and have different motivations and drivers for our happiness.
Sometimes your inner scorecard will also require changes made to it based on important or consistent feedback from the people around you. This is also important to take into consideration because your scorecard also directly affects the well-being of the people around you.
Although your inner scorecard is centered on you, it should not promote self-centeredness.
Pursuing happiness
Off-course, writing down your inner scorecard or putting a piece of cardboard on your bedroom wall does not guarantee a life of happiness. Happiness must be pursued, and an inner scorecard adequately evaluates if you are in pursuit and how it is going.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. ― US Declaration of Independence
A man who has devised an inner scorecard for himself must actively shun nearly all external judgement not aligned with his scorecard or values. And with an inner scorecard, responding “Yes” or “No” to people, situations, opportunities and habits is done without second thought.
In a world that often emphasizes external achievements and societal expectations, living by your inner scorecard enables you to lead a more fulfilling and purpose-driven life. It allows you to define your own path and find true satisfaction in living authentically, guided by your own principles and values, and under zero pressure.
In thy chosen life’s adventures, stedfastly pursue the cause; neither moved by critic’s censure, nor the multitude’s applause. ― Count Lucanor
I hope when our time is up on the surface of the Earth, we do not think so much about what the world thought of us, but if we lived by the goals and values we (claimed to) hold important.