Courage and Love

It takes courage to love, but pain through love is the purifying fire which those who love generously know. ― Eleanor Roosevelt

The Big Sick

In 2017, I saw a romantic comedy-drama movie titled The Big Sick. The movie follows the relationship between Kumail, a Pakistani Uber-driver who is also a stand-up comedian, and Emily, an American graduate student. They both met after a comedy show and eventually start a relationship. Meanwhile, Kumail’s mother tries to set him up for an arranged marriage, which he is not interested in but still tries to play along. Once Emily finds out that Kumail has been seeing other ladies, she breaks up with him.

One night, he is informed that Emily has been admitted to the hospital. He goes to drive her home, but is pressured by doctors into giving permission to place Emily into an induced coma for treatment. Kumail signs the medical release, then informs Emily's parents. Distracted with Emily's condition, Kumail ignores his parents' continued demands about marriage. He tells them about Emily and they refuse to speak with him any longer. Meanwhile, Emily's infection grows unchecked and he learns that she could die, causing him to fail his big comedy audition.

Emily's health improves and at the party celebrating her recovery, Kumail asks Emily to get back together, but she refuses. Emily later watches a video of Kumail's audition. She realizes the extent of his efforts to keep seeing her despite family pressure, and visits him at the local theater. Kumail informs her that he is moving to New York City to pursue stand-up. Emily is disappointed but wishes him luck. Kumail eventually patches his relationship with his family.

In NYC, he performs at a local club and is heckled, albeit encouragingly, by a female audience member. He turns to see that it is Emily, and she hints that she is there to meet him. In the end, Kumail gets married to Emily and they are both reconciled with his parents.

The relationship

Just as is depicted in Kumail and Emily’s story, courage and love are deeply intertwined in a symbiotic relationship that permeates every aspect of our lives.

At its core, love requires courage. Love beckons us to open our hearts, to expose ourselves to vulnerability, and to take risks. It is through acts of courage that we are able to truly love someone or something. Whether it is expressing our feelings to a loved one, standing up for what we believe in, or making sacrifices for the well-being of others, love demands that we summon the strength to overcome our fears and embrace the unknown. Without courage, love may remain superficial and stagnant, unable to reach its full potential.

“The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.”
― G. K. Chesterton

Conversely, love has the transformative power to inspire and cultivate courage within us. When we deeply love someone or something, we find ourselves propelled to face our fears head-on, to conquer obstacles, and to fight for the things we hold dear. Love ignites a fire within us, fueling our motivation to step outside of our comfort zones and take bold or risky actions.

Love emboldens us to challenge the status quo, to defy societal expectations, and to pursue our passions with unwavering determination. Love gives us the courage to become the best versions of ourselves, be better friends (and lovers), and to make a positive impact on the world.

“Love bravely, live bravely, be courageous; there's really nothing to lose.”
― Jewel

The challenges

However, the relationship between courage and love is not without its challenges. Both courage and love require perseverance and resilience in the face of adversity. It is during times of uncertainty or hardship that the true strength of our love and courage is tested. When faced with multiple variables, obstacles, setbacks, or heartbreak, it is our unwavering love and courage that sustain us and propel us forward. They empower us to confront our fears, to stand up for what we believe in, and to make selfless sacrifices for others or what we believe is the greater good. It is through these trials and tribulations that our love and courage are honed, refined, and strengthened, allowing us to grow and evolve as individuals.

It is only by practicing empathy, showing kindness, gratitude and forgiveness, especially in times when we fear the unknown can we cultivate habits of love and being more loveable people ourselves. Similarly as we may go to wars or grand expeditions for love, we also do small things for ourselves and others because of it.

In conclusion, the relationship between courage and love is a beautiful dance of intertwined energies. They are inseparable companions that empower and uplift us, enabling us to transcend our limitations and embrace the fullness of our existence.

It [Love] always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
― 1 Corinthians 13:7

Together, courage and love have the potential to transform not only our own lives but also the world around us. They are the driving forces behind our greatest triumphs and most profound relationships. So let us embrace both courage and love with open hearts and unwavering resolve, allowing them to guide us towards a life filled with endless possibilities.